Sep 05 2009
Bullying- What would your children say?
Wikipedia descibes bullying as….
“the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Although the UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[2] some US states have laws against it. Bullying is usually done to coerce others by fear or threat.”
Recently, I have observed the extension of this sort of behavior into what most of us would consider realms that would not be consider appropriate for this behavior before (not that even a back alley way or drug den would embrace such behavior either!). As an American expat, I have been appalled by the behavior of the opponents of health care reform in the US. They have come out of the wood work using tactics like “verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation.” Over and over the people on the news keep asking each other if they have seen this kind of behavior before and over and over, they express their shock, dismay and awe at the tactics of these people. Today, I watched on one show a woman in a wheelchair publically outlining her medical issues to a congressman while members of the audience (many who were standing in the backrow) were yelling and screaming at her.
Sadly, I have to say I have seen similar tactics in schools over the 23 years I have worked with children and their families. In the past, I would see these issues as one-off, disruptive, often unbalanced individuals. Some of these people had long term mental health issues. Others were labeled alcoholics, druggies and criminals. As of late, I have begun to see this behavior being perpetrated not by these sorts of people, but by “respected” members of the community in schools in the US and in some international schools.
My colleagues are reporting similar complaints at small international schools, colleges, and even in the larger international schools. My school, so far, as been immune to the public displays of such behavior and thankfully, our discourse remains polite, respectful and constructive (on the surface anyway!).
The members of many of these communities under stress are unwilling, or perhaps unable to have a civil conversation, or even polite disagreements. All conflicts are perceived as win/lose, good/bad, pure/evil for those who come to school with a concern. The digital environment has made this more underhanded and mean. In just a few minutes, I can create an anonymous email account and send 10-15 emails making allegations, threats, lies or insults and nobody is the wiser. This is adults committing cyber-bulling! Yes folks, that’s right. We have full grown adults (with children!) going out and doing google searches in order to find people to insult,harass, assault, coerce and manipulate.
According toe How to Stop Cyber Bullying.org cyber-bullies have a different profile than the off-line counterparts. While I understand that to be true, I see the goal to be the same for both. It is through insult,harassment, assault, coercion and manipulation, that the bully somehow gains power.
My response to this behavior (face to face and digital bullying) is always silence. I will, at all cost ignore the ignorance right up until it hurts a child or one of those people of which I supervise. Then I will step in. Behavior like this bring up more questions than answers, but My question is one I ask myself often:
“If my children were watching, would I want them to do the same thing to their teachers or principals?”
Or….. as Thumper says:
“If can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Top graphic from http://www.flickr.com/photos/47753500@N00/3525111678
Bullying article referred to from wikipedia is found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
Thumper from http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:TxO8z789CaJEQM:http://disney-clipart.com/bambi/jpg/Thumper-1-lg.jpg
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I’m seeing this professional digital bully trend happening quite a bit. I sense there is a new form of bullying happening between many of the early adopters and the establishment. The power of these tools is tremendous. It’s placing some who are a niched minority in educational institutions, into a quasi blogging stardom of the world. Some in the establishment may find this a threat and in effect the bullying starts.
I guess the question is, How does one deal with this?
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